Why Lavishing Praise Sucks
Scenario: "Dude, you're the best all-day-everyday. Yeah YOU! Oh-yeah. Yay!" You know the deal: Those "experts" telling you: "Lavish praise and watch them soar!" But what happens when you praise your team 24/7? You create people who are:
- afraid of failure
- risk-adverse
- mediocre baboons
Instead, just be super real with them.
- When they suck: "Yo! I didn't like how you did this. You're so much better than that."
- And of course, when they're good: Praise them.
Balance Praise
You want to be well-liked. We all do. (Well, most of us.) So you figure: "Hey, if I criticize them, they'll hate me. Ahh!" When you're lavishing praise on your peeps, you end up destroying their kick-booty abilities even more. You know why child prodigies never fully realize their potential? It started with excessive praise. Then, came the television appearances that showcased their skills. Then, the awards. Then, the idolizations. Then, the yadda, yadda, yadda. Says Stanford's human psychologist, Carol Dweck:
One very common thing is that often very brilliant children stop working because they're praised so often that it's what they want to live as - brilliant - not as someone who ever makes mistakes.
Praise is good; but doing it excessively is (1) corrupts the person's mindset, and (2) dishonest.
How Praise All-the-Time Robs Your People
Say Billy Bobby just designed your information infrastructure. You're unimpressed, but thinking you don't want to hurt his feelings, you let his work go unchecked. What happens next?
- Thinking you "loved" his work, he performs as mediocre as last time.
- Scared of being imperfect, he avoids risks.
- Your firm starts generating shoddy results.
Ouch. You're too much of a badass to let that happen. Start being real with your praises to your peeps. And watch your team soar higher than a you-know-what. (And of course, don't be some whacked-out-dictatorial-nut-job: Too little praise will crush your superstars.) So when you're heading into your weekend, remind your fabulous team:
"I praise for real, b!#ch*s."
Have a great weekend, y'all! We love you.
Read More Business Tips From Trizle »
9 Comments
on Why Lavishing Praise Sucks
Andre B
2007-02-09 11:13:51 UTC
We love you too! b@#$s!!
I actually needed to read this post though. For my entrepreneurial ventures down the road, I'm sure I will have to cutback on my "I dont want them to be mad at me" mentality. When its business....its business.
Take it easy
The Trizle Team
2007-02-10 06:23:32 UTC
We love you, man!
Thanks for your great comment, Andre. In my opinion, I think you can have the best of both worlds -- the respect of your employees, and also optimizing performance out of them. I don't see it as mutually exclusive, but actually dependent on one-another to make it happen.
Have a totally ridiculously good weekend, Andre!
-Andrew
Hendy Irawan
2007-02-11 18:30:42 UTC
Yup, this one is a truly 'touche' advice (at least to me).
Sometimes, we love (in a greater sense, not just romantic) someone a little bit too much that it is a little bit hard to content the 'desire' to express our love to him/her.
Maybe I should revise some things to, maybe, like:
"Lindsey, I'm not sure how you'd do as a marketer. But you're a totally rocking super-badass programmer!"
Duh! Maybe not.
It's really, really hard to be a sexy motivator (as opposed to, lousy praiser.)
andhapp
2007-02-12 03:31:01 UTC
But on the flipside don't you think it raises the bar which motivates them to perform even better. They put their best efforts to perform as per the expectations.
John Wesley
2007-02-12 14:05:30 UTC
I completely agree. Whenever my boss lays on generic praise, I get scared that it;s just something the managers are told to say and that they're thinking about firing me.
Frank
2007-03-03 11:59:38 UTC
I have a sense that tells me when a praise sounds phony. When I'm hearing one of those I tell myself "Oh, he's trying a stupid motivational trick right now... look at him, he thinks i feel better inside".
I mean, you know when something is real and when something isn't.
I hate when people tries those kind of cheap tricks on me. Speak to me in an honest way... like the human being that I am, damn you! Don't try your stupid motivational tips for monkeys you just read on that stupid book.
Woooo... what's happening to me?
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