What Separates Resilient People
Scenario: "Dude, I want to be resilient, but people screw me up all the time. Ahh!" What's one of the key variables that distinguishes resilient people from the quitters? Self-accountability. According to a study by Harvard's Psychiatrist Stuart Hauser, resilient people:
...were really quite talented at taking responsibility. Most people in the world don't take responsibility, they see things as other people's fault. But every one of the resilient kids were very, very clear about their contribution to the mess that they were in. The boy we called Pete was expelled from school a million times, and he could tell each time how he kicked someone in the shin or gave some teacher a hard time, and that got him kicked out. He never blamed the school for kicking him out. They had self-confidence.
Building resilience takes a simple switch in mindset. Instead of blaming ______________, start blaming yourself for whatever predicament you're in. The beauty in that? You'll start seeking solutions to get out of it.
"It's me."
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4 Comments
on What Separates Resilient People
Grammie
2007-02-16 12:28:32 UTC
Someone very near and dear to me has a lot of negative things happening in her life. She tends to blame others for all that has happened. Oh how I wish I could help her understand how important it is to take responsibilty for her own choices. Self accountability is something I was taught at a very young age. You guys drive it home wonderfully in this thoughtful article. Thanks again!
Hendy Irawan
2007-02-16 19:38:09 UTC
I didn't write this comment!
Andrew wrote this article, hence he's forcing me to do this!
;-)
The Trizle Team
2007-02-20 05:37:55 UTC
Hi Grammie!
We missed your comment. I was a little out of the weather last week, so I wasn't on top of comments as I had wanted to be.
Great comment, as always! I do know what you're feeling. A lot of people around me have the same "it's never my fault" mindset that I do hope someday I can help them out of it.
Self-responsibility is such an important thing, and -- like how you earned it early -- it was one of the first things I learned when building the business. Without it, I would've let everything go -- and just blamed it on external factors (e.g. "the man", money problems, social inequalities, etc.). Instead, when self-responsibility makes you think anything and everything can be overcome. It's like a little challenging game, with big consequences.
Thanks for the compliment, Grammie. Your rock as always, for eternity, and a day.
-Andrew
The Trizle Team
2007-02-20 05:38:30 UTC
Hendy,
I'm forcing you to write a comment in every article ;-)
Haha..I kid. I kid. Hope all is well, with ya.
-Andrew
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