Scenario: "Dude, just..a...few ..more...minutes of browsing these webpages. Then, I'll work. Yay!"

What happens to most people when they turn on their computers?

• 0:01 (1 minute): "Hey, I'll check my email. Then, I'll work!"
• 0:05: "Hey, I'll browse ESPN.com. Then, I'll work!"
• 0:10: "OSU made the Final Four! I'll read, then I'll work!"
• 0:20: "I wonder what the key match-ups will be!"
• 0:40: "I wonder who the favorites will be. Work after!"
• 1:00: "Oh crap! I just wasted an hour. I gotta read articles on how to manage time better. Yay!"
• 1:20: "Whoa! I gotta check out these productivity blogs they recommend. Then, I'll work!"
• 2:00: (Looming deadline) "Okay, I'll have to do the work now. I just wasted two hours. Ahh!"

As a result, you start doing crappy work because:

• You limited the amount of time you could work.
• You drained your kick-ass-rate with negative self-talk when you started working.
• You boosted your chances of procrastinating again thereafter.

The solution? Shut off your computer if you've set no purpose for your computer time; you'll save super-massive time -- and boost productivity like mofos with wings.

How Sexy Internet Time Can Destroy Productivity

You know what happens when you tell yourself you're just going to spend a few more minutes browsing the web? Like a freakishly juiced-up Energizer bunny, you keep browsing...and browsing...and browsing -- until a looming deadline forces you to work (chaotically). As Newton's Law of momentum goes, as you continue browsing the web more-and-more, it becomes harder-and-oh-so-harder to stop.

1. That is, first you might think: "Oh! I'll just browse so-and-so, and then I'll work!"
2. But in reality, what happens? "Oh, I'll just browse another page -- and then I'll work!"
3. And the cycle freakishly continues, reverting back to #1.

Uh-oh.

And what happens to your self-esteem?

You drain it like a mutha-fo in deepo shizzle. Peep this:

1. When you start browsing the web, you start feeling a little guilty. Result: -1 self-esteem.
2. As you browsing the web a little more, you start feeling a little more guilty. Result: -3.
3. As you do it more, you feel much more guilty. Result: -10.
4. Yadda, yadda.

Not only do you limit your time to do your magic, but you also destroy your confidence to kick-ass doing your work. Productivity = Massive Drainage. Double-uh-freakin-oh. But, don't fret. Here's a solution.

How to Use Your Computer Time Efficiently

Simply:

1. Set a purpose for your computer time.
2. Viciously stick to that purpose when you're on your computer.
3. Get off the computer when you're done.

Simple, sweet, and effective. Because you likely browse aimlessly on the web, know precisely what you'll accomplish before you touch that computer mouse. That could mean:

1. Respond to weekend emails.
2. Create user's manual for Judy.
3. Buy 100 leads from LeadsABC.
4. Find five facts about Lincoln's leadership.

Accomplished your mission? Now, get the !@#$ off the mutha-!@#$%^ computer -- and congratulate your badass: (Restart the cycle for other tasks, as necessary.) You've just saved precious time from your beautiful day. More importantly, you prevented your booty from wasting hours on the web doing useless nothing-ness.

Yay.

"So I can't have my computer sexy time?! Ahh!"

Not at all. If you're not scheduling carefree fun-time on your computer, you're actually draining your productivity even more. So, start incorporating those computer-sexy-fun-times into your schedule. For instance, that could mean:

1. Read 3 Final Four articles on ESPN.com.
2. Spend 10 minutes on Digg.
3. Browse 5 Amazon.com bestsellers.
4. Play a game of Warcraft. (Can't leave out you geeks.)

Then, start noticing how fabulously productive you become.

Sidebar: Scheduling Your Computer Time

Have trouble scheduling your stuff? Read this. The template to get you started:

"I'm touching my mouse because: ____________________________."

(The sharper, the better.)