How to Manage Your Employees

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  1. Bobishka's the chef for your little shop.
  2. She's mad at your company.
  3. Her performance drains.

Get this:

  • Mad workers: Slow Workers.
  • Happy workers: Rock Star Workers.

Then, get this:

  • The happier the worker, the more she'll tell you how much she loves your company.
  • The angrier the worker, the more she'll go behind your back ridiculing you, your company, and your children.

Result of The Angry: Company turmoil caused by drainage in morale, resulting in Super-Sucky Bottom-Line.

"OH NOES!! So how should I serve them?!"

Think back to where you excelled like a crazy person; you likely got:

  • all the stuff you needed to do your work
  • an awesome support system that helped you excel
  • managers laying out the red carpet so you can rock your brilliance

Winner: All.

So, what do your employees need to perform?

  1. resources to do their work
  2. support to do their work
  3. freedom to do their work

The more you serve them:

  1. the more you'll boost their performance
  2. the more you'll skyrocket employee morale
  3. the more you'll fatten that bottom line

In other words:

  1. Treat employees like their Kings of Your Company.
  2. See the magic.

The Kings

Think of a top-down pyramid.

  • The CEO's at the bottom; the front-line employees at the top.
  • The CEO serves everybody above her like they're her Kings.

For instance, your badass-ity would dump the traditionally-pathetic-manager-employee social relationship, and adopt these mofos:

  1. "Hey, you have all you need?"
  2. "How can I improve my skills to manage better?"
  3. "Do you have any concerns I can address?"
  4. "What can I do to make you ridiculously perform?"
  5. "Can I get you some @!^^%$^ horchatas?"

In other words, when you become their little bizattchi:

  1. You create the ideal environment where employees can succeed.
  2. You constantly fine-tune that environment per your Kings' feedback so they'll excel like rock stars in speedos.

Freakish increase in efficiency/morale/bottom-line/love: CHECK!

Winner: All.

Serve them like effin' kings of your ridiculous world.

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Posted on May 27

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