How to Really Get What You Want

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Scenario: "Just never give up, and read a lot of books. Yay!" Say you've haven't reached your goals. You've done all you could:

  • You've put in 98905830432 hours of work.
  • You've talked with industry experts.
  • You've consulted with therapists.
  • You've read a million business books.
  • You've psyched yourself with a gazillion motivational quotes.

And yet: blah. "What in the !@^^ is going on?!" you scream. You tried improving the heck out of your life, but terribly failed. What happened? You tried creating new experiences from scratch, and then wondered why you couldn't create them. Instead, to boost your chances of getting what you really want: Make foreign experiences common/daily familiarities. That is, imagine you already have what you want -- and, what steps you took to get there.

What's Wrong with Conventional Wisdom

You take a 4.0, 1500+ (2250+) SATs, Starcraft-playing, Java-coding, Star Wars-crazy nerdy nerd. We'll call him Sanjaya.

  1. He needs a date to the prom.
  2. He has zero social skills.
  3. He's never held a conversation with a girl.

You're his coach.

How would you help him best succeed? If you're trained under the motivational school of thought, you'd probably draw these bad boys from your arsenal:

  • "Believe in yourself! Believe!"
  • "They'll love you!"
  • "Be real!"
  • "Think happy thoughts!"
  • "You can do it!"

Then, you do the 'logical' thing by giving him books, resources, and websites to help him become more social around girls. "Read them, study them, live them!" you tell him. "Once you become an expert, you'll have no trouble!" Two weeks pass by, and it's the big day:

Sanjaya's gonna ask out classmate Ashley after school.

What'll likely happen? Oh, we don't know:

  1. Sanjaya: Hii, Aaasheely.
  2. Ashley: Hi, Sanjaya.
  3. Sanjaya: Thee phyysiics claass wass interrestinggg, huhhh? Extrraccting ellectroons froom an attoom cannn makke electriicitty, whooo kneew..
  4. Ashley: Yeah.
  5. Sanjaya: I neeever kneeew elleectricciitty wasss everrywheere. Innn faccct, I thiink it's floowwing between yoou andd mee riight noow.
  6. Ashley: Funny.
  7. Sanjaya: Caan-I-asskk-yoouu-ouutt to thee prom?
  8. Ashley, like the player hater that she is: Sorry, dude. No.

You're sitting about ten feet away thinking to yourself, "What the @^^% just happened?" Unfamiliar with the situation, Sanjaya reverted back to his old self -- and, acted from his usual nerdy ways.

Why We've Probably Sucked

We're all similar to Sanjaya: We haven't experienced what we've wanted.

  • We haven't experienced making billions.
  • We haven't experienced working with the world's all stars.
  • We haven't experienced setting record returns ten years straight.
  • We haven't experienced building the most fabulous workplace in the world.

Sure, a good amount of us read business books, attend conferences, bought CDs -- and all the other crap with headlines like: "Become a millionaire in a year by following these 52 steps!" Boo. Like Sanjaya, we thought those would help us -- but, @^^%!

Why Oh Why?

We're trying to create new life-altering experiences from scratch. When we do, we almost always fail. We can't draw on previous experiences, so we do what we know: acting in our usual-old-fashioned ways of doing things.

  • We work the same hours.
  • We surround ourselves with the same people.
  • We do the same work/projects.

We go the same doctors, dentists, barbers, grocery stores, movie theaters, mechanics, yadda, yadda, yadda. We build the same life.

In other words, we're scared s^!t-less of change.

We'd love to be the biggest-baddest-mutha-^^*@&! in the world doing ___________, but that's a foreign concept to us. So, unconsciously, we ultimately revert back to our old-safe-comfortable ways. And, that's why we haven't achieved what we wanted.

How to Get What You Really Want

Manipulate your brain: Un-foreignate foreign experiences. That is, visualize in detail the outcome of what you want -- and what you had to do to get it.

  • What specific steps did you take to get it?
  • What'd you have to complete?
  • What'd you have ignore?
  • Where'd you find help?

The more familiar you are with what you want, the likelier you'll make those visions realities.

How You'll Trick Your Brain

When you visualize the outcome of what you want, you psychologically rewire the unconscious side of brain from:

  1. "Oh crap! I've never experienced this."
  2. "I'm getting the heeby-jeebies just thinking about it."
  3. "Let's revert back to something more comfortable."


  1. "Wait, this seems like a familiar experience I've had."
  2. "And, I rocked it."
  3. "And so, rocking it again will be no thang but a chicken wing on a string."

Result: Ridiculously boosted chances of attaining your elusive goal. You'll ignore unimportant distractions, focus on the most efficient means, and optimize your productivity in achieving what you want.

The Template to Get You Started

  1. Close your ridiculously good-looking eyes.
  2. "In two hours, I will have already achieved: __________."
  3. "I achieved it by doing: _______, and not doing _______."

(Sweet tip: Pull out the Crayola and draw some pictures.) See how productive you'll become in chasing down that goal and freakishly beating it into submission.

Visualize the mofo.


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Posted on June 15

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