How to Improve Your Brainpower

  1. You wake up.
  2. You drink something super good.
  3. You do your work.


Why do you suck?

Your brain runs on empty when you wake up.

  1. You sleep.
  2. Your brain consumes freakish energy because you're have your super-sweet-pleasant dreams about shiny cows and their mothers.
  3. Your brain consumes all of your glucose.


Glucose is sugar in your blood that acts as your brain's primary energy source.

  • No sufficient glucose? Your brain impairs.
  • Sufficient glucose? Your brain = optimized.

Glucose carries the energy your brain needs through your bloodstream; because your brain's neurons act like a bunch of beeyotches and are too stubborn and too stuck-up to carry the glucose (F YOU NEURONS), your blood picks up the slack and carry your glucose to empower your brain.

When you wake up, your glucose levels are depleted. What to do?


Restore your glucose levels with a hearty, delicious, good meal.

Two ways of getting sugar to your bloodstream:

  1. Super sugary foods (like candy), a.k.a. high-glycemic foods.
  2. Less sugary foods (like oatmeal), a.k.a. low-glycemic foods.

Now, if you eat super sugary foods, sugar will go through your bloodstream SUPER-FAST, like it just slapped your momma.

So, you'll deplete your glucose quickly, and you have to make up for the depletion by eating more-and-more-and-more -- that, friends, is how you end up FAT.

Now, if you don't want to be fat, try less sugary foods, whose sugars will travel through your bloodstream much more gradually, and give you more sustained energy throughout the rest of your fabulous day.



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Posted on March 24

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